Parental Concerns about Children with Cleft Lip
Cleft lip (sometimes accompanied by cleft palate) is a congenital deformity in which there are one or more splits in the upper lip due to abnormal facial development. There are various factors that can contribute to cleft lip developing in infants. However, many cases of cleft lip have no real explanation besides unusual variations in genetics.
According to medical statistics, cleft lip as well as cleft palate occurs once in every 600-800 births. Unless a couple is seeking genetic counseling before pregnancy, then news of a baby with cleft lip might come as quite a shock. Cleft lip is a congenital deformity that occurs rarely, sometimes randomly, and that there is medical assistance that can repair the cleft lip for the benefit of both parents and the growing child.
As a parent, you may have many conflicting emotions about your child's cleft lip. Some are very natural, and some are exaggerated due to fear and discomfort. It's important to keep things in perspective. A cleft lip does not mean that your baby is terminally ill, unnatural or cursed in some way. However, there are valid concerns regarding your child's medical, emotional, and social development.
Cleft Lip and Embarrassment, Sadness and Disappointment
Some parents may feel embarrassment or shame over a baby with a cleft lip. Others may even go through a phase of denial, believing there was a mistake made in the nursery. There is no reason to believe that a cleft lip is an omen or punishment. It is a congenital deformity and can be repaired with modern surgery. There are medical institutions that devote their time and resources to these specific types of disorders. While having a child with a cleft palate is a challenge, you do have many options.
You may be disappointed that your child isn't “perfect” or “normal”. You're not a bad parent for reacting this way. Try to realize that no child is perfect and that the condition of a newborn baby has nothing to do with the person's future life or the good that he or she can grow up to accomplish. Current surgical options mean your child has excellent chances of leading a normal life.
Many mothers are disappointed to think they can't breastfeed the baby. However, it is a myth that cleft lip or even cleft palate will totally prevent breastfeeding. A mother may or may not be able to breastfeed her baby, depending on the severity of the cleft and how well the baby can latch on. Your doctor and nursing team will guide you through the possibilities that exist for feeding a child with a cleft lip.
You may be afraid to hold your child due to his or her fragile condition. While caution is needed in feeding and special instructions will be required after cleft lip surgery, you will be taught how to do this. Your child truly needs your touch and affection, especially after surgery.
One of a parent's greatest fears is that looking different will prevent your child from making friends. While none of us have any guarantees in this area, the speech and surgical options available will go a long way to help your child appear “normal”. However, your support and love are the most important factors in your child's emotional well-being and self-image.
Finally, you may be concerned about paying for the surgeries required. Cleft lip is treatable and surgery is usually affordable, since most insurance companies will cover the costs associated with cleft lip surgery. The experienced surgical team at the International Craniofacial Institute encourages you to bring us your questions and concerns. Treating children with cleft lip and giving them the best lives possible is our specialty.